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//Wednesday, April 8, 2009 8:11 PM
wishing u well..
i didnt go skewl again today..coz to me,my family is my ferst priority...4 tym straight i was marked absent..
wat happen ysterday was dat,my closest sis,bella,got sick..n nt normal kindof sick..she was lyk not movin..lyk coma or paralyse lyk dat..daymn it freaks all of us out.my mum n other sis started cryin..i was abt to but i cntrol it to the max...daymn it..those held up tears make me stronger to go thru the whole nyt n mornin..n i oni shed A tear..onli one..n dats it..coz i noe ive gt to b strong..n nths gonna happen to her..so since im the oni one hu cn cntrol myself,i was the one who was wif her thruout the whole thang..mum called the ambulance n she was brought to the a &e dpt at SGH..n it was lyk 12 plus to 1 am..waited so freakin long..n neva sleep n its effing cold to the max..so lonely sia..n my mum wanna start arguement wif me at thr..wtf..kat situ jgk kite had a smal sarcastic arguement n i we dun talk to each other again..so ard4 plus am she gt transferred to transit ward..kindof temporary ward...so i sat thr then my mum went home..so i was left thr alone wif my sis..but u dun care coz i love her to the earths core!i juz cant leave her alone thr..i wanna owaes b thr next to her,to hold her hand when shes in pain,to cover her wif blanket when shes cold n do lift her up wif watever energy's left in me juz to make her comfortable or if she wanna sit..coz dats the tym i tink i cn repay all the things she haf done for me..bt its stil nt enuf.. daymn i was freakin sad abt dis thang.if anione was in my shoe,u would feel the same..imagine if u go thru dis on the day itself..i woke up n we planned to go skewl late together..so we took our SWEET tym to eat togoether..n dat is sumthng unusual,then she went to the supermarket to buy her frens snacks n i meet up wif her at McD NP .then we sit for a while, then she bought a meal for her fren..then she teman me until busstop to take bus then she go..n she bought me snack n a bottle of drink..n earli in the mornin b4 she left home in the room,she told me she had surprise for me when i come back from skewl.so i was lyk yea2..then she topup for me my prepaid in the mornin summore..n we were havin sucha gd tym in the morning..jokin n bonding..sumthing unusual olso..so when i come back home whch is ard 6 plus,she was nt home..she oreadi went to werk..so do usual stff..then phone rang,i pick up,hear her voice veri weak readi..i ask my dad fetch her from werk..when saw her reach home ah..criously veri *heartcrash*..she veri2 weak..then my father suport her to the room.then when she lie down,she start bein so stiff n veri2 cold..lyk u noe,sumone gonna d**(touchwood)..n her eyes stare one spot oni..n she can talk..WTF??so blah blah blah..then my father gave me a box,its a handphone..dat was the surprise she meant..n she cant hand it to me personally..it is for my advance bdae present..i was freakin touched by it n i wanna shed tears but i held it up.. at the hsptl my mum told me how she was freakin happy n xcited to gimme the hp..she told her dat im gonna b veri hepy n she is so happy abt dat..n dat was b4 she went to werk..n recently on oone of the days,she came home n hugged kissed my mum n ask for forgiveness.n she cried.so i go investigate..then she say she had a strange feeling abt death..so explain to me how the hell we r not freaked out about her condition...i juz pray dat she will get well SOON..shes the one n only sister who showed n give me alot of care n love..she will sacrifice anithng juz for me..i juz love her soo much ..how i wish i was the one havin all those pain..coz shes the best among all of us..n i would rather take dat place n take her pain away..i deserve it way much than her..she even werk so hard juz to gimme the comfortibility in life dat my parents cant gimme now.i owe her too much..i feel lyk a burden to her..i juz got alot to tell her how much i love her n how thankful i m towards her...
holding our tears can be veri dificult but atleast it makes us stronger.. |
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