im bored...im veri bored..im veri veri veri bored ryt now..
if only i am schooling right now,my days would not be so plain..everyday would be something new..
there will always be something new and to be talked about.. studies,friendships,teachers,politics,emotions..
oh my gosh..i am obviously missing school.. i wish i have homeworks now so it will fill up my empty time..
i want that busy pressured stressed till you cry life back again.. can i?i wish i can..atleast back then i have everone..
i have my friends.my bitches.my seniors.my juniors.my specialist.my cadets.my crush.my teachers.my enemies.n family.
but where do everyone go now?yes i still have my friends.but not everyday like last time where i can meet them evryday..i rarely meet ,talk or even sms with them. only when there is something coming up or someone need something or we are just plain bored then we will start talking.n that will only last like how long?hours?or maeby 2 days only..or even minutes.. that is how distanced i am from them.those people who used to be there for me everyday..
i want my ncc life back again..as a cadet..where we were being tortured like we are just a piece of shit..it is fun .. it makes us looks like fools but that is how we gain our strength from.. a cadet is far more stronger than a specialist..a specialist is just a senior who have more experience and knowledge..i want be in the platoon that have always been in the shit n sweats with me..i want to go gunung ayam again with my platton mates..it is the most precious thing that i would remember..i want to go through initiation camp again with them..because there is alot of drama which happen in real life and we happened to plan everthing out..it was funny shit..
i want to have a weekend job like last time..eventhough as a dishwasher for weddings..atleast i get to meet my crush every weekends..joke around ,annoy, tease,laugh with each other..n also sing together.i still remember the first song which break the ice..its "i wanna hold your hand"..an old school song..hahha..it was fun back then.having cash every weekends..and going for dinner as a group after work.but now,since something happened,we have not been going to work as a dishwasher every weekend..n yes if my sister happens to read this..yes,its true..i do have a big crush on zul..remember he is the chris brown and i am rihanna..it was crazy..but that was back then..i still do talk to him at times but not as often as last time..cause there is nothing much going on in my life...and i do not have much to talk about with everyone..EVERYONE.
i want to have my teachers back in my everyday life..they are the awesome-est strangers in my life..
they did try their best to make me learn something eventhough i am quite problematic with attendance back then..they still do not give up on me..i appreciate their efforts trying to get near us n treating us like their children..pampering us..it was veri sweet of them..i still remember mr row's convo with me on the phone.."can you come to school tomorrow?"...."okay,do it atleast for me..i have not seen you for a long time.."..."the whole class miss your presence here"...that actually made me come to school the next day and the whole week..i swear..which other teachers would do that?and the other teachers such as mdm hartini and mr vale and ms sor n ms shobha also filled up a certain area in my heart okay..they are the sweetest teacher..
i love going to school and seeing my enemies..enemies actually made my school life more interesting..without enemies,there will be no climax...and i remember me eeza n mus beating up maggie..it was memorable ..and during the early part of 2009 we are so fanatic..and as if everyday we go and solve problems for other people..nothing to do ..it was veri fun.and in the end.i can say those enemies actually became friends of mine..atleast we are not in bad terms anymore..atleast..
i want to turn back time again if i can and change everything..since secondary 1..i should have socialised more and get to know more good people in life..eventhough they are naughty people,sometimes they can be the best person in your life.and if i can turn back time..i would actually try to hold my relationship with haziq till now and in the future too just like what we used to promise back then..but promises are meant to be broken is it?he is a nice guy..he may be a little bit over protective but that is because he care..i became uncomfortable with that extra care since i do not like to be overly protected..but then if only we could sit down and talk really really nicely and not mistook what each other is trying to convey,we would actually stand till now..i am very very sure..but what to do?yes i admit i still miss him and i want him back but it is not going to happen..how can i prove that i still have feelings for him?in thousands of people i knew,why i always miss him?and why do i still feel jealous when he treat another girl extra special?and why do my heart skip a beat when i talk to him? i see changes in him and he is way much better now..maeby he is happy with his life or even with someone else..i would not ever ever be selfish and snatch that happiness away from him..he have helped and done alot for me..iappreciate and really thankfull for that..
all i can say my mistakes which i have done in the past..or should i say last year and last two years have actually changed my life..i am school-less right now..i am single and missing him always.. i am bored with doing the same thing all the time at work..workplace which used to be so homely has turned to be a bitch to me eversince that new boss came..i even got sacked on saturday..but i got the job again and working tomorrow..but seriously,work will not be that fun after this..
and lastly,,family?hmm..i do not know how to describe it right now..from my point of view,it is okay.. i am kind of comfortable with the way it is now..but to the others point of view,they keep complaining about how ALL of us not having time for each other anymore..dad cominghome around midnight everyday and leaving for work in the morning before everyone wakes up..mum keeps complaining to me about everyone's atitude towards her everyday..liike what am i suppose to do?i am even the youngest here for goodness sake.dont the older ones have brains to think better than me?my first sis as not been in contact for around 1 month.2nd sis has been going out everyday with her husband.3rd sis started working and it has made a bit impact..4th sis working at somewhere not halal and my mum nagging about it to me..and her atitude which is going down the drain to some peoples eyes..everything is being put on my shoulder..am i the oldest one here?hell no..! everyday she will keep telling me she is so stressed about my dad which is not in talking terms with her,my sis being rude to her everyday,being lonely at home.and alot more stuffs..and i am getting nagged at for someone's else's fault..so who should be more stressed here?no school.. a job with small pay and have to support herself and pampering her mum with her pay and in the end i am left with nothing.. isnt it better when there is lesser people at home?so peaceful..difrent people diferent points of view..
whatever it is..i am bored rotting at home..and that explains this lengthy post of mine.ok i am tired now..finally can rest.okay bye.take care earthlings..