marks the first day of fasting month...
the feeling this year is veri diffrent for me...
i wanna fast as properly as i cn...
insyaallah...nn take the opportunity to find patience in myself...
n maeb do as many good deeds as i can...n oso go for as many terawih prayers
as i can... i dunnoe y i feel lyk dis...
maeb bcoz theres juz too much bad deeds? i dunnoe...oni god cn dcide dat..
i hope to get the blessing from dis fasting month..
i juz nid to discipline myself.. alot... but i dunnoe if i really cn make the changes by this year... its feels soo dificult...
however i'll try my best...veri best...






so yesterday...friday,had onlli 1 paper..english paper 2..but it kills mayn!
its dificult eventhou ive read the passage b4 in some magazine i tink...
it nids lots of brain cracking thinking...but as usual.... i do it so confidently...
n i feel so relaxed... i hope i cn be in this state when i sit for my O level examination... aftr the paper,went home..n recently ive been gettin on the bus wif same tyming wif brian..hahahha...so we talk2... nnn... i m so fascinated by najib n his twin...at first i saw najib boarding the bus at from the same busstop as us...then a few stops later,someone from yis sec looks exactly lyk him..so i told brian dat he looks lyk najib..n he told me he is najibs twin...lyk omg..they look the exact same....juz dat the one from yis sec looks more mature n taller abit oni...hahaha... juz lyk a small kid seeing someone double..
reach home..change then slack..n the two minah ask me mit them..hahaha..ok ah..coz near my house oso..so met them..n they gave me 5 of it..then dina went off ferst...then i mie at lastnye go for training...hahah...so sent her till skewl..then home!at nyt went to bazaar at geylang...walk ard abit then home!


tmrw werking!first year celebrating fasting month wif them..hahaha...
free food yo!k im off ryt now...


to all muslims,,selamat berpuase!
puase,jgn tk puase tau...
hahahhahaa.... kkay Q da mcm paham nk jadi mufti..
k go!

-FRIDAY-
skewl was fun2! last day b4 prelims!had fun in skewl..i guess so..ahahahha..hyper2..it feels lyk last day of skewl lyk dat..heehee..so yadah yadah yadah...it does nt feel draggy at all...veri un..summore durin POA,laugh2 alot...ahahahah...and dat was skewl!



worked at 6pm...supposed to b yana me n radiah..bbut radiah didnt came so ikin take her place...mayn they are crazy as usual..ok lah..bole dilayan...i was raped!!hahhaa...its a joke..coz they were bein so crazy n they onn the songs loud..then dance2 lyk nobodys business..go grind against each other..lyk they high inside club lykdat... then i was doin the pizzas when they made me join them..oh gosh...they combine power n go grind on me...i was lyk wat the hey?wif the dough on my hand...omgoshy...tryin to turn each other on or somethng..ahahah... we aint no lesbo..its juz dat these kitchen peeps are veri open minded lykdat noe...n im bcomin lyk them readi...hahaha...those peeps who dunnoe us will definitely tink we r damn freaky mayn n disgusting...but hey,dats us...the whole day was gone thru wif dat kind of atitude...dancing n grinding during werk....pathetic enuf...but fun ah,not boring at all...aftr werk my family pick me up n we go makan at al-ameen...






-SATURDAY-
went to TKC..gt some show or wat the hey i dunnoe...gt didicazli n all...ok lah...fun oso..free food!hahaha...then gt the launching of lampu hari raya...go watch a while..then went off to changi...to eat...n somethng happen durin i wanna order food wif my 3rd sis...we wanna buy nasi ayam at dis shop caleed 'takdename'...the pakcik veri kerek..so at ferst we maintain uh..old uncle mah..must respect abit...so my sis wanna ask abt the food she feel lyk eating..oni ask noe..then the uncle was lyk,"kau punyer turn da smpai blom?blom kn?abeh sabar ah" mak kau peh pukat uh...so my sis walk off n tell my dad abt it..but i still stand thr..then my father came..n he sarcastically ask me damn loud,"kau punyer turn da smpai blom?blom kn?abeh sabar ah"..i was lyk lost for awhile sia..wat the hey...then as usual,aftr the shop vendor give us wat we order then he ask for money ryt..so he ask for money readi..then neva giv the xtra rice..so i ask uh...
me-cik,nasik tambah die mane?(uncle whrs the xtra rice?)
pakcik-*just kip silent n the face stone*
me-cik,mane nasik tambah saye?(uncle,whrs my xtra rice?)
pakcik-sabar lah..tk tau sabar peh kau?!
me-eh abeh kau tk ckp ngan aku suro tnggu,kau xpect aku nk tau peh?prangai peh org tue! cam gini peh treat customer?serve org dgn muke mcm taik!tkde name tkde makne lah!da blah ah!(u neva tell me to wait then how u xpect me to noe?atitude old freak!lyk dis uh treat customer?serve people wif ur shit face!no name no meaning lah!)


mayn i was damn pissed off maynn wif dat old freak...reached my boiling point readi ah..paiseh uh...dun tink i small size girl cn talk to me lykdat uh...wrong person ah whey!i neva ever disrespect an old stranger till lyk dat uh...bodoh peh tua!





-SUNDAY-
went to SSC..neva werk uh...haiyo..watched the anugerah finalist..AAAHHHH!!!!sarah aqilah was there in person...she sing criousli damn nyce lah...so aftr the thng finish...went to smbwang MRT station meet faizah..give her the cd..n back to SSC..meet my mum thr...then walk2...aftr dat went to the jamming studio whr my daddy's band recording their song...slacked ard the area..then wait until they finish..n home!





---TODAY---
prelims starts!i swear i stone for a few mons aftr openin the paper..i dunnoe whch format to use..so i juz cross finger do the letter...then do the essay..n done!aftr skewl was O level oral english....had a gd chat wif eyka n shafeeqah while waiting...hahaha...from one topic to another n another..gerek or wat...n stumbled a few here n there...but when comes to the convo part,it was okay ah...talked lyk normal..n i tried damn hard to b as conscious of my werds as possible...hahaha...then went home...walked home!!urgh!my feet hurts mayn!haha...today we were laughing alot durin the break tym b4 the oral...veri fun2!heehee...n tmrw paper ends at 9 05am...yayay!goin to the sea comp then...well dats the plan for now lah...let tmrw dcides..hehehe...kay toodles!


take care people!duntake drugs..

sup yo!hahaha...
ok back to skewl...now feeling better..but the stomach irritation is still there..hahha...but heck it..when in pain,juz laugh out loud..dats all!n yay!today i fast..heehee..even im fasting it doesnt stop me from doin all those activities...PE n aftr skewl...yes it is veri2 exhausting.....play frisbee..run here run there...n still standing strong till break fast...gd job Q!..yayay...today gt chem practical..we try to do it lyk a real exam..ok lah...i noe how to do the prac but when nidda record n conclude i lost readi..hahaha...n our class mixed team gets 2nd place for frisbee match whch the result was hanging since the sports carnival...today was rated hot..veri stuffy...urgh!!! so yeah dats the school story...





reached home,bathe veri long..just stand under the shower all the way...coz its freaggin hot..felt lyk bathing wif ice water..hahaha...then rested a while..listen to musics..n break fast!yayay!gulp the water lyk camel..hydrate myself again..haha...on the lappy,did some work. aftr dat all the chatted wif some peeps..n wat the hey!next week is sea comp?!n it clashes wif prelims n also O level english oral..hahaha...maeb i cn make it on the 2nd day oni..at least for a while oso cn lah coz i end skewl at 905am on tue..so i try lor...hahaha...i wanna see if they cn earn medals...lyk brian said,"i'll be surprise if they get medal"..hahaha...so we'll see to dat...i juz nidda noe wat tym is the compe n race...nn syg,u nidda pray hard ur race falls on the 2nd day lah...hahaha...kay..gtg now...get enuf sleep n skewl starts late tmrw...im off!







SARAH AQILAH WON!
shes gt the best voice ever,...
her victory is predicted...you go girl! =)

long dao n faiz missed out from dis pic

so it just popped up in my mind of 2 years ago..on the very same date..
at 12am ..yea..dats the date where evrione ard me know abt...6 august 2007....
dats veri long noe..how time flies veri2 fast...but we just cant last longer than mid march dis year..
too much conflict..dats how far we haf gone thru..1 year plus..but hey,wat for we go on if we noe
we r nt happy?ryt...i didnt haf dat much courage to break it off..n there,he save me all the talkin n guilts..
thanksalot for the break up..appreciate it real much..hahaha..weird huh..hahaha...well,i can say dat we
r nt in gd terms at first,but aftr some tym,we get used to it..we moved on...he moved on..n me...yea..ive moved on too...he's gt someone new while i prefer to juz hang ard wif difrent people...it widens my social contacts...yea..im nt writing up dis post coz i feel regretful or wat...it juz came into dat part of my small memory card somewhere in my mind..yea..so juz blog abt it..coz its veri familiar for me of the date...n the whole thing juz happens to flash across my mind...n the song because of you by kelly clarkson which happens to play just now adds in t o the memoirs..hahahha...petra shud noe the connection between the song n me..hahahha...abt petra,daymn i miss dat babe.same thng,2 years ago,i used to b veri close wif her..lyk evritym aftr skewl we wud go sumwhere together....but along the way i oso dunnoe how we drifted apart...but we still in great terms...wah,,imiss her craps n lameness...yeah shes one lamer but shes fun..wif her cnfidet face yg tk menjadi...i miss sitting next to her while she play the piano n i will sing to it...hahha..the last tym we do it was initiation camp...n i noe dats gonna b last coz we nt dat close animore...i miss disturbing her wif someone..n her
pissed off face when riyan disturbs her..aww...it was all veri fun then...i somehow miss 2 years ago...when we were all so young n playful..n living our live like there is no tomorrow..being mischievious n naughty..hahaha..it was all worthwhile...coz it brings great memories n laughing stock when we all will come back together n share our childhood nonsense...but i think i owe it all to ncc sea...it is from there whch these stuffs develope...ive met great people in my life thru ncc...be it seniors,my platoonmates or my juniors...ive met great people like my veri own delta 09...we have done alot of wrong thngs together..hahaha...evritym we get together,it will always b alot of fun...ive always enjoyed coming for training besides the passion for ncc..it is bcause i noe dats the tym i can get together wif my veri own bonded bunch whch i will rmmbr forever..there are some other more people whom ive known in ncc also whch somehow bcomes my darlings of life..my dear nabilah,fhareha(my syg),emie,dina,my alpha,n some cadets or clts from various districts...most of them taught me the value n meaning of reality of life...i do owe it alot to ncc...n nt to forget,hajar...she was the one who always disturbs me during training when i was juz a part A..n i gt so inspired wif ncc bcoz of her...how passionate she s towards ncc n how she enjoys her twice a week training..it was so much fun cmin to trainin..she planted the passion in me..n dat is y till now if i happen to see her aniwhere,i wud instantly put on a smile n haf dat respect towards her as a specialist ive knwon 3 years back...she is something.. i could sense the diffrence ever since we step down...my days of funstuffs n craps haf been cut down...from few years back it has been twice a week or even more then it goes down to once a week n sometyms even alternate weeks...n now,none...it gave me big effects...my usual time outs on friday aftrnn is gone...its veri hard to get togetehr coz we r bz studyin for Ns n Os... its really veri diffrent now..i miss 2 years ago...alot...i noe people chnge as tym goes by n i haf to adapt to it...n we haf to move on...





right at this moment i am missing alot n alot of people...
i just feel like meeting them n line them up n hug each of them..
tells them how much they are missed n how much they meant to me..

and i tink i shud end it here coz ive gt to go sleep n tmrw gt skewl!

isnt it amazing?
that a place which once caused such angst,
such isolation and seclusion
Can now provide such insight
And reflection
to the days when we knew all
Yet we knew nothing


It used to be i
Who,inadequateas i was,sat alone and longed to be
Everything i could not.
I thought the world revolved
Around what i did not have:
Money,Beauty,Power.
And perhaps a portion of it does,
Still a greater portion of it doesnt.
I longed so long to be beautiful
I didnt realize i already was
In my own special way.


And now that the years have passed by,
i realize everyone has their own little insecurities.


Imagination kicks back, And reality sets in
People dont need pretty face.
They need an open heart,A listening ear,
An encouraging word.
How shallow seem now
The popular "heroes i so foolishly idolized.
The friend i held in such high esteem
Was the same one who tore me down.
I thought her to be so perfect
And set her as the prototype i wanted to be.
Only now do i realize
All the time spent wishing i was someone else
That someone else was wishing they were me.
Such wasted time we spent
Seeking out lives that were not our own.
Years later when the boys are all grown,
And our clothes out of date,
Upon which memories which will we truly look back and smile?
I think they will be
The ones when we became ourselves.












when you hold fast to your beliefs and live true
to yourself,your real value as a human being shines through...